Thank You Joe!

After a visit with their grandparents, Brendan and Kiki told me that Grandpa Joe and Grandma Bonnie were hoping I would visit sometime. I had not seen them since divorcing their son eight years ago. Their invitation, a testimony to the power of love and forgiveness over enmity and pride.

A year ago Joe was diagnosed with cancer. He has undergone treatments, is doing pretty well, but one of the tumors is inoperable. Time is of the essence for all of us, but there is nothing like the cruel clarity of a terminal diagnosis to remind us of our limited supply of moments.

This week I chose to take Bonnie and Joe up on their offer to visit. They greeted me warmly, graciously. We caught up on family, health, laughed about old times. It was an easy and relaxed visit.

When it was time to say "good bye" Joe stood up from his chair and gestured for me to come to him. We stood facing one another. Faces inches apart, we looked into each other's moist eyes with intimacy traditionally reserved for lovers...simply, silently, holding one another. The moment, especially dear since we knew this may be our last together.

Joe placed his hands on my cheeks; I noticed how crystal-like his blue eyes were, filled with liquid love. He pressed his palms more firmly against my face as if he was imploring me to listen, really listen, and spoke with urgency.

"Mary, God gives us all gifts. You have some beautiful gifts. Gifts the world desperately needs. Don't hold back anymore. Do you hear me? No holding back. Go out and share those gifts. Don't play small; just spread your gifts out in the world. No holding back. It's time to share what God has given you. Do you hear me?"

Tears streaming down both of our cheeks, I nodded a silent vow; a wordless promise to heed his call. We embraced, expressed our love, and Bonnie walked me to the car. Driving past the room where Joe was sitting, I stopped and waved a furious, cheerful goodbye.

Seems like I have been waiting a long time for someone to lay hands on my head and invite me to profess my vows. I had a picture of what that would look like...in a church, Bishop, family gathered, the whole shebang. But you know what? Perhaps it has already happened in that sun-soaked family room.

There is a stark contrast in Joe's urgency for me to "FLY! FLY" and the institutional drone to "WAIT! WAIT!" Thank you Joe and God bless you! You are so right, we ALL have gifts to share. What good does it do to withhold them? Is there a part of you that has been holding back, afraid to share what you have to offer? Let's fly while we still can!

Gifts of the Spirit

“Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit,

and there are varieties of services, but the same Lord;” 1 Corinthians 12:4-5

Miss Raz must have sensed my confusion when she sidled up next to me at the table littered with sign up sheets. Or, perhaps she waited there skillfully culling volunteers. “Hey Kid. Why don’t you join me on the altar guild?” Clueless as to what this meant, but vain enough to do anything for anyone who called me “Kid,” I scribbled my name on the sheet.

That first Saturday morning I joined the other women who patiently explained to me every detail that goes into preparing the altar for service. Ms. Raz confidently directed her troops. Martha remained close to me, easing my anxiety with her humor. When I forgot the proper name of an item she smiled and whispered, “Or you can call it the ‘holy napkin.’” Candles were re-filled with oil and gently wiped down. Before they could be placed on the altar, candelabras were presented to Ms. Raz who made sure they were lined up, eyeing them with drill sergeant-like precision. Patti and Phyllis arranged flowers with conscientious care, and what deceptively seemed effortless ease.

After our tasks were complete, Ms. Raz brought me to the back of the nave and we admired the group’s work. She noticed that candles on the altar were a bit out of alignment and went up to fix them, calling back to me, making sure all was in place. I admired the artistry and love that had transformed the sanctuary.

The next morning when we arrived for church, I had a new appreciation for all of the work that goes into creating sacred space for our worship service. From the procession of the choir, through the readings, Bob’s sermon, and the guitar music during the Eucharist, I was aware of all the previously unappreciated gifts that had been poured out into the creation of a meaningful service. The faithful care of so many to prepare the space for our hearts to open to God.

When Lewis’ beautiful additions to the altar appeared a few weeks later, I marveled at his self-less offering in spite of physical pain. Perhaps this well-choreographed effort is what Paul meant when he wrote, “All these are activated by one and the same Spirit, who allots to each one individually just as the Spirit chooses.”

Prayer

Loving Creator, thank you for the gifts of the Spirit. May I appreciate the gifts in others and generously share the gifts you have given me. Amen.

Switching Lenses

“Do you still enjoy what you’re doing?” I asked Theresa as she changed out camera lenses. “Funny you should ask. I have been re-thinking some things.” She replied. “Really, how long have you been a photographer?” “Well, I started when I was 17 and I’m 52. What’s the math on that?” I was intrigued, Theresa seemed so established in her work, why would she be “rethinking some things?”

While Theresa moved adeptly about her photography studio, checking lighting, adjusting backgrounds, she told her story. “This economy, it’s been hard on everybody. I just never thought I would have to worry about my livelihood. But when folks don’t know how they’re going to pay the rent or buy food, they sure aren’t gonna be paying for pictures. It’s been tough.” I shared some of my own experiences with professional challenges and we exchanged that look of mutual misery.

"I told Daddy just the other day, ‘I realize these last few years I’ve been grieving.‘ Mary, it just isn’t like me to be depressed. But I think between the digital age and the economy, this has all hit me real hard.” We stood silently shaking our heads in agreement. “But you know what, I’m getting ready for a career change.” My head popped up, “You are? What kind of career change?”

“Well, I’ve decided if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. I’m taking classes on how to design websites. I LOVE it! I LOVE working with the computer! Imagine how great it would be to have someone who could design your website and take professional pictures to put on that site! Also, I’m teaching classes for folks who want to learn how to use their digital cameras better. Some for beginners, some for advanced. I have more energy than I’ve had in years.” Astounded, I stood watching Theresa, inspired by her ability to listen deeply to what life was offering her.

How often do we feel a sense of sadness over things changing, a desire to hold on to “what has been,” and struggle to find a way forward? Theresa’s story is powerful because she was able to shift her focus and allowed a fresh vision for her life, new possibilities, new adventure to come into the picture.

When I called Theresa to ask if I could share her story, she was surprised and responded, “Well of course. The way I see it, business is God’s gift to me to be given back. If something I’ve said or done will help someone else, I’m glad to be a part of it.” And then she added, “When I now think of the last several years and the despair they brought. There were days when I thought I was living through the worst thing possible. But you know, now I look back on where I was and where it brought me, to THIS day and I can truly say, ‘I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.’ We are always better after the storm.”

Practice: Changing Lenses

Sit quietly for a few minutes, either in your sacred space or outside in the open. Take a few deep breaths and scan your body. Is there a place where you are gripping, clinging, holding on tight? If so, place your hand there and simply breathe into that space. You might ask if it has a name. Silently breathe with the intention of releasing the clinging. If it feels comfortable ask yourself, “What am I holding on to that is causing pain?” Give yourself the gift of a few more deep breaths, feeling the heat from your palm on the spot you have located. Linger with this for awhile, breathing in, breathing out. After the tension dissolves, release it.

Take a few moments to honor whatever grief or sadness may have come up for you in this exercise. If there is something that is troubling you deeply, it may take a while for the sadness to subside, for you to be able to release your grip. Maybe you would like to close with a prayer. Here is an example or, or you may wish to create your own. “Loving Creator, thank you for your faithful, imminent presence in my life. I release to you this sadness (name it?) and commit to the intention of keeping my eyes open to the new paths that are in front of me. Amen.”

The F Word

OK-most of us try hard not to say it out loud and many of us do a great job of avoiding it, but it is time to have an honest discussion about the "F word."

It's just that the word has been given such a bad rap...I think it is misunderstood. It is truly the genesis of things being brought to life-isn't that a good thing?

For some of us, avoiding it causes more harm than good. We pretend it isn't there. Distracting ourselves with unimportant tasks when in fact we should be FOCUSING. Yes, the "F Word"--focus. What did you think it was????

Where are you focusing your energy these days? Do you have a clear idea of what is most important to you and FOCUSING your time, money, and talents in that direction? If not, you might want to consider taking a few moments to make a list of the top 3 things you want to get done this year. Keep the list close to your desk, stick it on the mirror. Whatever works best for you to remember how to manage your time and FOCUS your life.

Well, this has been a fun distraction. Now I am going to return to FOCUSING on the book I have been working on...one of my top 3's this year. What are yours??