Friday, February 12, 2010

When the Snowflakes Fall...

It is snowing in Alabama! Nothing like the blizzard folks are experiencing in other parts of the country. But it is highly unusual to get a dousing of white around here. Usually, if snow falls it is in the middle of the night, the beauty lasts about an hour, then the sun comes out leaving muddy slush in its wake.

Not today. It is REALLY snowing in Alabama!

From my perch in the loft, it feels like I am inside of a snow globe. Whoever shook this one did a great job!! The flakes are dusting the trees and the deck is blanketed in white. Most stunning of all is the menagerie of birds that have invaded the feeders and the trees. I stopped counting the number of finches, cardinals, and LBB's (little brown birds) when I reached thirty. Every opening at the two feeders is occupied, the deck is covered in tiny birds pecking through the snow, and finches decorate the trees like Christmas ornaments.

The birds are acting very strange on this snowy day. They are partying big-time! Even though I filled the feeders this morning, by lunchtime they were empty. Daisy and I walked onto the snowy deck. An airlift of raucous wings flapped toward safety.

As I moved toward the bird seed-filled trash can a tiny goldfinch flew in my face and then landed on a wire inches away. I stooped down and soothingly spoke to him, sure he must be hurt if he wasn't taking flight. He returned my gaze, charmingly turning his tiny head. We lingered in this posture of mutual admiration for quite some time. Snow drenched my hair and I was getting cold, but I didn't want to scare my new friend by lifting the lid to get the seed. Finally, I explained what I was about to do, as if he would understand, and then gently lifted the lid. He stood and watched me fill the feeders, fascinated by the process. When I stood up he finally flew away. I chuckled.

As I was hoisting the feeders back to their spot, my little friend and a few other finches actually danced around my head. Clearly they were drunk with snow! Just as I was about to go inside, there was movement in the trees. About a 100 yards away was a HUGE bird looking out over the snowy lake. I thought it was a hawk, because its back was to me, I wasn't sure.

Thirty minutes, forty five minutes, an hour later that giant bird was still contemplating life from his perch. Sometime later I noticed he was no longer there and thought, I wish I would've seen him fly. Minutes later an enormous owl glided in front of the window--in the middle of the day!

When snowflakes fall in Alabama!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

REMEMBERING


I hope you will indulge me with two posts in one day.

How often do we take time to REMEMBER the people who have made a difference in our lives? Take a moment and think back to a time when you were going through a rough patch and someone stepped in to make a difference in a significant way. Maybe it was a teacher who noticed you were having trouble "fitting in" and she helped you feel safe. Or perhaps it was a neighbor who noticed you were sad and she took the time to listen to your troubles. If we stop and think about it long enough the list of kindnesses we have received in our lifetimes are innumerable. Wouldn't it be nice just to remember a few?

So, go ahead, take just minute and REMEMBER someone who has been good to you. What did he or she do that touched you deeply? How did you respond to their kindness? Have you ever told them how they made a difference? Would you want to tell them again? If you haven't ever told that person the impact they have had on you, would you want to now?

If you do, feel free to let us know how it went. REMEMBERING...a way to relive the gift...ACKNOWLEDGING...a way to share the gift!

INTEGRITY

One of the dictionary definitions for "integrity" is, "adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty."

Seems simple enough. Yet if we choose to be vigilant about what we say and do, we might find it is no easy task. Maybe I am just projecting my own shortcomings on all of you .

Recently I have had a few occasions where I NOTICED how I was hoping to wiggle out of "full disclosure." In one case, there were some messy, hard things happening in the relationship and it seemed easier to gloss over them than it was to be straight with the other person. In the short-run that strategy can work, but over time my little "white lies" always tend to pile up into a heap that becomes unmanageable. The gifted psychotherapist, Virginia Satir had a saying about "taking out the trash" every day in relationships. I guess we would have a lot less to clean up if we NOTICED the trash we were about to throw down and avoid making the mess in the first place.

Just the other day I was dealing with someone in a business transaction. When she came to our home I knew we were going to interview other people for the "job." In fact, I intended to tell her that. But when she was sitting there at my kitchen table in the flesh, it felt too uncomfortable to tell her the truth. After a couple of days, I got up the nerve to let her know our plans. She was gracious and understanding, but I could tell she was hurt. I hoped to remember to be more honest from the beginning next time.

This integrity business can be as simple as following up with someone when we say we will, or as big as fidelity in our marriages. I bet it is like lots of things, in order to create a life of integrity, it requires making a habit of choosing to be honest every little step of the way.

Integrity-in our thoughts, our speech, our actions...it takes a LOT of noticing. But hopefully living out our moral and ethical principles will lead to better relationships and better sleep at night!