INTEGRITY

One of the dictionary definitions for "integrity" is, "adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty."

Seems simple enough. Yet if we choose to be vigilant about what we say and do, we might find it is no easy task. Maybe I am just projecting my own shortcomings on all of you .

Recently I have had a few occasions where I NOTICED how I was hoping to wiggle out of "full disclosure." In one case, there were some messy, hard things happening in the relationship and it seemed easier to gloss over them than it was to be straight with the other person. In the short-run that strategy can work, but over time my little "white lies" always tend to pile up into a heap that becomes unmanageable. The gifted psychotherapist, Virginia Satir had a saying about "taking out the trash" every day in relationships. I guess we would have a lot less to clean up if we NOTICED the trash we were about to throw down and avoid making the mess in the first place.

Just the other day I was dealing with someone in a business transaction. When she came to our home I knew we were going to interview other people for the "job." In fact, I intended to tell her that. But when she was sitting there at my kitchen table in the flesh, it felt too uncomfortable to tell her the truth. After a couple of days, I got up the nerve to let her know our plans. She was gracious and understanding, but I could tell she was hurt. I hoped to remember to be more honest from the beginning next time.

This integrity business can be as simple as following up with someone when we say we will, or as big as fidelity in our marriages. I bet it is like lots of things, in order to create a life of integrity, it requires making a habit of choosing to be honest every little step of the way.

Integrity-in our thoughts, our speech, our actions...it takes a LOT of noticing. But hopefully living out our moral and ethical principles will lead to better relationships and better sleep at night!