Blog Moving and New Series

As you know, life is full of change...in an effort to keep up with technology, I have integrated my blog and website at www.marybeasullivan.com/blog. I will no longer be posting on this site.

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On May 1st I will begin a daily series entitled, "Midwife to the Mystery." We live in a (mostly) wonderful world. Yet, sometimes, we find ourselves moving robot-like through our days, numbed and overwhelmed. We can lose sight of the Mystery that is as close as each breath we take.

I invite you to walk with me as we explore simple reflections and/or ways to increase awareness of Mystery in our lives. My hope is that we will balance some of the unhealthy messages we receive about how we should look, feel, spend, etc. with messages about being open to what is, to the I AM . Perhaps increasing our own awareness of the Mystery will help birth greater awareness for others as well.

The first post will consider how our challenges, even tragedies can break us open to love.

"Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in."

Excerpt from the Leaonard Cohen song "Anthem"

If you sign up for the blog's email subscription you will automatically receive the series posts. I appreciate your walking on this new road with me and hope you will share your own experiences and comments! Namaste

Blessings From the Rubble

Heartsong is an annual retreat sponsored by the 1917 Clinic at UAB for people living with HIV/AIDS. I am honored and excited to be attending the retreat as a co-facilitator with Rev. Joe Elmore. This year's theme is "Blessings!," inspired by Rachel Naomi Remen's inspirational book, My Grandfather's Blessings.

In preparation for tomorrow's session "Finding Blessings in Difficult Times," I have been remembering the many times I, or others who I know, have experienced a loss, disappointment, or tragedy and how somewhere under the rubble blessings were uncovered.

And then I recalled a touching story that I heard on NPR about 5th graders in Northridge, California sending letters and drawings to children devastated by the earthquake in Haiti. One letter said, "I wrote this letter to tell you I care about you." Others included poems, or funny stories in hopes of sending cheer. The Northridge children raised more than $1700 for the Red Cross Haitian relief effort and sent markers, pens, and papers to the children.

The children in Haiti were moved by the support from afar. As a gesture of appreciation, they sent back to California a car made from juice bottles and caps, thank you notes for the encouragement, and one young girl sang a song in English praising her new friends as angels.

The students in California were glad to hear back from their Haitian counterparts and impressed with their resourcefulness and courage. Hope for continued relationships sparked by the exchange.

Blessings from the rubble...children from a privileged community reaching out in meaningful ways to those less fortunate; learning about students from another culture, honoring them with dignity, being inspired by them. Children in tragedy being touched by kind strangers and responding with gratitude and creativity...listeners around the world given the opportunity to take a break from the sniping that fills our airwaves to learn from the children.

When was a time that you were going through a hard time and something good came from it? What blessings were you able to find in the rubble?

Namaste

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Calendar Prayer

Let's face it, most of us rarely link prayer with time management, but I am wondering if they are unrelated. Think about it, isn't time one of the most precious gifts we have been given?

How do you treat that gift?

Sometimes it feels as if time slips away like air slowly leaking out of a balloon--at first it is barely noticeable, but before long, the balloon is lifeless, flat. So it can go with our days if we are not careful, mindful of where our minutes are going.

It is Thursday-again. The week is almost over and the "to do's" on my list for this week are still longer than my days. I wonder, "Why?" Am I over committed and there was never any way all of those things could get done? Have I been wasting too much time on the phone or the computer? Did something simply take longer than I expected?

What if I were to take time to notice? What if I were to begin my days with a few minutes of calendar prayer? Would it make a difference if each morning as I plan my day I were to take a few deep breaths, give thanks for this moment, this hour, this day, and asked for wisdom and guidance to use the time I have been given to serve my and the world's greatest good?

I'm gonna give it a try...will you? What works for you in managing this sacred resource?

Namaste

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Lessons from the Couch

The parish hall was full and lively. Purple tablecloths and dramatic vine-like centerpieces adorned each table. Energy in the room was high, and I was truly enjoying the sense of communion with the congregation. The focus of my talk, the 46th Psalm, “Be still and know that I am God.”

Paradoxically, my outward joy masked the truth that underneath the public facade was one worn-out woman--something even I didn’t realize. In the past few months I had nursed my son back from a serious car accident; put our home on and off the market; traveled to California, Georgia, South Carolina, and Tennessee to facilitate programs, receive training, and say “good bye” to a dying family member. Just that day I had driven over 200 miles, facilitated a wisdom circle, delivered soup for our church’s Lenten supper, presented my “Be Still” talk, and packed for an early morning trip to Colorado. Talk about “teaching what we need to learn!”

When I returned from Colorado I was so sick and exhausted for three weeks I only left the couch to go to the doctor or emergency room. I had lived this story before. Burn out is to me what the “check engine” light is for my Prius--a not-so-gentle reminder that I am in need of service. Underneath all of the running around is the fear that "I am not enough." This time I was buying into the lie that I needed more training, more work, more accolades, more money, more fun.

Ironically, the lessons from the couch are coming into focus on Good Friday. The day that Jesus surrenders fully. The day that he commends his spirit to God. How I want to follow Jesus’ lead, open my hands and my heart and release that which keeps me from fully realizing God’s loving Presence in my life. I would love to let this lie of “not enough” die. After a few weeks of forced “sabbatical” I intend to step back into the world with renewed energy and passion and the hope that I will recognize burn-out’s flickering flame before it reaches full blaze.

Optional Exercise: Take some time to consider the following...
What in your life is creating separation from you and God, yourself, or others? Separation from fully experiencing the fullness of your life?

This is a tricky question for most of us. Perhaps some clues about the thought/belief system/habit/addiction that might be limiting your connection would be helpful.

Take a few minutes and consider the following questions designed to help identify what my be your particular "brand" of stumbling block keeping you from experiencing "wholeness." You may want to record your responses in your journal; or you might just want to be still with the questions and offer them as a prayer for ongoing clarity.

We're probably stumbling around a "block" when we experience a sense of having "been here before.” What is a recurrent “theme” or “story” that you tell yourself when you are stressed, anxious, or angry? (Some common examples are, “I have to do everything.” “I am not worthy.” “I must be perfect.” “No one understands me.”)

Often we attempt to “numb” ourselves with TV, computer, food, alcohol, anything to distract us from our uneasy feelings. What do you “cling” to in times of discord?

When we run into a stumbling block, many times there is negative fallout to ourselves, our relationships, our health. What are the harmful consequences to you and others when you believe/act in this way?

When you have let this thought/belief system/habit/addiction go before, what great learning has come? How could you change your stance to one of open-hearted receptivity and open-palmed surrender?

Serving the Music

A few days ago I saw an interview with Celine Dion that struck a chord. She was talking about how when she was younger she used to work hard trying to "make music."

Then she described how her perspective has changed over the years. "I don't know if everybody realizes how powerful music can be. I think it breaks every barrier," she said. "I think God has given me something to work with, a voice, and I'm just trying to serve the lyrics and the music to get messages through."

A powerful, subtle, humble shift.

"Making music" implies willful, self-creation; "Serving music," the open-hearted gesture of co-creating.

When she described the experience of making music, her body and verbal language expressed a sense of "hard work." As she contemplated the idea of serving music, her face softened, even her breathing seemed to slow down. She actually said that it is much easier now.

How often do we find ourselves trying to make something happen...forcing, willful, self-determined MAKING? How would our stance change if we were open, yielding, receiving, humbly SERVING with our gifts?

Namaste