Choosing Life

No, this is not about abortion...

Recently I have been struck by the important choices before me and people I love. I am contemplating whether to pursue formal seminary or non-traditional spiritual training. Brendan and Kiki are in the throes of choosing which colleges to attend. Dear friends are choosing whether to move far away for a new career opportunity (yes, opportunities still exist). Most compelling of all, another friend's loved one has chosen to move "home" to die.

Each of these choices are quite different and yet similar in that they hold an opportunity for moving toward life. (Perhaps especially the man moving "home.") Frequently, I create a self-imposed burden of making the "right" choice...driving myself and others a bit crazy with the perfectionist pressure of it all ( you need to be feeling for Malcolm right about now). And yet, maybe it isn't what we choose, but how we respond to our choices that matters most.

Yes, I want to take time to "BE STILL," waiting to choose from the wisdom of stillness (that alone is a monumental task for some of us). Yes, I want to seek the counsel of sagacious souls before deciding. Yes, I hope for a sense of peace about my choice. And yet I wonder, unless it is intentionally harmful to others, is there really a wrong choice?

My brother Mike had great advice for Brendan and Kiki, "College is what you make of it no matter where you go." The friend who is discerning about moving her family realized, "we could be happy either place." Could we carry these messages into our choosing? Life is what we make of it...happiness is possible anywhere-even in economically difficult times.

Sometimes we are fortunate and the path is evident with relative ease. When we were choosing to move to Alabama, Kiki was positive she would love St. Bernard High School and she has. At the same time, Brendan was not so sure, and yet he has had an equally wonderful experience. Surety and clarity is a gift. Choosing from that place is like life reaching her pulsing palm and pulling us toward fullness. It just isn't that simple many times.

When I reflect on many of the important choices I have made, frequently the experience of living out that choice was quite different from my anticipated experience of it (Kind of like results of those financial plans I helped create back in the 80's and early 90's). And so perhaps imagining what our choice will be like is over-rated. Sure we want to do our homework. But, could the "trick" be in letting go of the expectation of how things will be once we have made our choice?

Choosing life means choosing to fully experience the process of discerning and living into the choices with an open heart and an open mind. Come to think of it, we are all experiencing this moment in this way, as a result of lots of small and big choices over the course of our lifetimes.