What is it you want for me to do for you?

Twice Jesus asks, “What is it you want me to do for you?” In the first instance, James and John are vying for privilege and power, wanting a seat at Jesus’ left and right hands. The second incident occurs when Bartimaeus, a blind beggar shouts for mercy.

Setting the Bible on the ottoman, I call to our white lab Daisy so I can ponder this question on a walk in the country. For a little while I move at a brisk pace, hoping to burn calories. Occasionally I remember the question and consider, “What is it I want Jesus to do for me?” Scattered thoughts pop like popcorn, my mind frequently wandering.

Descending from a steep hill, nearing the end of our second mile I wonder, “What if I were walking with Jesus right now and he asked, ‘What is it you want for me to do?’”

Instinctively I slow down and ultimately stop walking altogether. Surrounded by an arch of greenery, I turn to look back at the direction we have just come. Wisps of steam, barely noticeable, dance across the pavement. Turning toward home, I hear the morning-song of crickets. How had I missed their serenade?

Continuing my journey, at a relaxed pace, I imagine Christ at my side, asking, “What is it you want for me to do for you?” The answer spills forth, the question one more drop of rain needed overflowing the crest of a dam.

“Courage, I want the courage to do what I am intended to do; the courage to fully surrender my life to you even when it will be difficult. Clarity, so I will know how to be your presence here on earth; to know which path to take to best serve. And finally, community, I want support and collaborative partners, a place separate of our home for me to do my work.”

And then I sense a gentle reply, or perhaps a conversation from within, “You don’t have to do it all. You cannot have community and support if you block it before it even has time to step in the door. Leave the door open. Welcome what enters. Listen. As I have told you before, your church is ready. Do not be afraid. I will give you all that you need.”

Gratitude washes over me…Daisy and I slowly resume our journey toward home, burning fewer calories and drinking in the soothing scenery. I feel the prayers of all of the family and friends carrying us forward in this time of transition.