Day 41: A Grateful Heart

Mine is a grateful heart...
for the Spirit-led nudge to write ...

for your companionship...

This morning the alarm went off before sunrise. A fruitful time before dawn...darkness pregnant with promise. Coffee in one hand, journal in the other, I penned my thoughts about the time which we marked for renewal. What has been renewed? What have I learned? So much has happened...

I will share with you a couple of thoughts about my experience of the past 40 days in hopes that they might have meaning for you.

Discipline is not a dirty word.
I didn't realize when I committed to write each day how many obstacles I would encounter. My guess is, this would be the case for most of us. Below are just a few of the times I struggled with keeping to my commitment.

When we traveled to Utah, I just wanted to hang out with Malcolm, Mom, and Dad. At first I resented anything that would interfere with my down time. But the vacation was richer for the writing...reclaiming prompted Malcolm and me to ride the chair lift to the top of the mountain, and mountain bike down. (Luckily Malcolm recovered from his fall...a whole other story. We truly LOVED the beauty and the experience of pushing ourselves physically in the outdoors.)

The morning after we flew back home from from vacation, I received a text message from Brendan, "Swine flu have to come home." When we walked in the door after I had driven over 7 hours back and forth from Auburn, all I wanted to do was tend to my 6'4" "baby." Yet it was good for him, and for me, to give him space. My computer probably saved him some smothering. (Did you ever notice that "mothering" is contained in "smothering?) In any case, "Listening To Our Bodies" was a result of my mortification that Brendan had spent 48 hours alone in his dorm room in misery before going to get help.

One Saturday, after 5 hours of sitting in the rain watching a college football game, showering and snuggling up on the couch seemed like a great plan. Thankfully, our hostess, Ina encouraged me to sit at their computer and write...I came dangerously close to bailing that night. The downside of that decision much greater for me than for any of my readers. Ina's presence inspired the post on being an encourager.

Last weekend our internet router crashed. The only way to get "connected" was to drive 40 minutes into town and write at Berkeley Bob's coffee shop. It was raining (again) and for some reason, making the trek to town seemed more daunting than it should have. Thankfully, Malcolm tagged along to keep me company.

I don't share with you this litany of speed bumps along the road so that you will feel sorry for me or think highly of me. Many of you overcome obstacles much greater each day. I know a few of you are commuting to seminaries in Atlanta from homes in Alabama; one of you has endured pneumonia; Brendan was not the only one impacted by swine-flu; at least one of you has been given an unwelcome diagnosis; children have been sent to college; ailing parents have been tended; husbands have experienced disturbing symptoms; jobs have been lost. And yet, in the midst of these challenges, you have carried on.

Some days I have felt the "finished product" was better than others. Yet when it was most difficult to write, I found great meaning in the process. I can't help but wonder if there wasn't a touch of grace in my focus shifting from "getting it done," to desiring to touch souls...to being faithful to my promise. I am reminded that the promise is fulfilled when we stay disciplined in following our hearts.

Community carries us.
Thank you for your insights and encouragement...this was not a lonely pursuit. Knowing anyone was following, was reason enough to "show up" each day. Thank you for inspiring me...helping to reignite the flame. We are all better people because of those who carry us and those whom we choose to carry.

Art makes us better observers/participants in life.
I remember when I was writing Dancing Naked Under the Moon: Uncovering the Wisdom Within I realized how I noticed details in a deeper way. Something about taking the time to write...in a journal...on a blog...to a loved one, opens up the pathway to SEEING differently. At times, I have felt the presence of this new way of SEEING, it is so alive! I have heard painters say that when they are painting, they see more colors, more detail in their lives.

I want to take this series and carry it another step or two or three or four or wherever the Spirit might want to carry it. Can you envision a booklet...for individuals...with a facilitator's guide in the back...small groups could gather to support and share once a week...perhaps the exercises, the community will benefit those who are desiring an experiential faith. I can feel it wanting to be born. Any thoughts you might have are most welcome.

I will continue to write on this blog...maybe not every day, but frequently...other series themes are bubbling up. You will continue to receive the new posts unless you "unsubscribe."

Again, THANK YOU! Namaste