Day 34: OutPouring

Sometimes I hold back...don't fully invest myself in a relationship or a project. Do you ever do that? There are different reasons for hesitating, trust...time...are probably the two biggies.

Cynthia Borgeault tells of Jesus' self-emptying...I like to think of it as OutPouring, with reckless abandon. That doesn't sound safe to me at all, very risky stuff.

What if I pour all of myself into a relationship and that person doesn't live up to my expectations, or they hurt me? Emptying myself sounds like a prescription for burnout.

And yet, others have poured all of themselves into loving me...I have benefited from my mother's love; friends who supported me when I was grieving; Malcolm's unbridled generosity toward Brendan, Kiki, and me.

I have been hurt before because I set up expectations for how I wanted to the other person to respond to my expressions of love. Maybe this OutPouring has more to do with the giving of gifts and nothing to do with keeping track...of getting credit...reciprocation...any expectation of something in return.

Wouldn't it be great to be able to pour out the gifts we have to share...gift of a smile, gift of a compassionate ear, gift of food, gift of healing...any gift, with our sole focus being the OutPouring of what we choose to share? I wonder how much more joyful would be our giving.

Maybe I could avoid burnout if I made sure I only gave what I had to give as opposed to giving what I think I should give. Wow! That would be kinda different.

There is a place in my life where I have been holding back...playing safe...afraid to pour out all of what I have to give. I don't want to be rejected, or hurt, but that self-limiting talk is an affront to the Giver of all gifts. I want to love with reckless abandon, stop counting the costs and waiting for something in return.

Is there a place in your life where you are holding back? Could you be so brave as to Pour Out all that you have with joy and hope and trust that there is great abundance from which you may give? I wish you well in this endeavor, perhaps we could support each other in this consuming way of loving. Namaste.